During the hour of Divine Mercy (3:00), I like to walk over
to church and be with Jesus. He’s my
next-door neighbor. As I’ve mentioned
before, I can see the doors of the church that lead to the chapel and the Blessed
Sacrament from my kitchen window. (I
know. I’ve got it good.) I go over and say my rosary and Divine Mercy
chaplet for you, or Stations of the Cross before the Blessed Sacrament and let
Him teach me. Today I decided to sit in
the main part of the church, a couple of rows back from the front, where I have
a clear view of the tabernacle, and crucifix, the beautiful Divine Mercy
portrait, and Our Lady of Grace. While I
was contemplating the Forth Sorrowful Mystery: The Carrying of the Cross, I focused
on the fallen Jesus.
To help me stay focused I sometimes imagine Him up before
the altar, scourged and dejected, but today I thought of Him fallen in the
dirt. I pictured Him right there in
front, right where the priest stands to distribute Holy Communion. Ground down into the carpet. Beaten down- with His gaze upward as if
imploring help.
I find it very interesting how that picture popped into my
head as there have been two instances recently where that image has been a
reality. Two times within a week, during
morning Mass- when I have looked up from prayer after receiving Communion- I’ve
noticed a fragment of a Host on the ground where the Eucharist is being
distributed. This was completely by
accident, of course, but it has made me ponder- not for the first time- the
incredible depths to which our Lord will sink to make Himself assessable to His
creatures. Literally.
There are ignorant souls, who decide they don’t like the
taste of a Host, so they discard it in the pews. Those who receive Communion in the state of
mortal sin. People who don’t believe the
reality that what they are receiving is actually and truly the Body, Blood,
Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. And
then the rare times when in distributing, quite by accident, a piece of this
Holy Bread falls to the ground…
Ah, the lows He sinks for us. We will never fathom the great depths until
we are united with Him in Heaven. My
puny mind tries in vain to contemplate a love that is beyond my understanding.
I’m amazed, as I think on it, because it isn’t a normal
thing for me to check out the ground around the area of distribution, but on
those two occasions, I did. Perhaps I
was tapped on the shoulder. In the first
instance, though, that gentle tap was not enough to get me to immediately act. I waited.
I studied the tiny, white speck on the carpet from my vantage point in
the second row and wondered if it could possibly be what I was thinking it
was. Then I got really nervous as the
debate played out in my mind. Stay put,
and risk that the Sacred Host will get stepped on, or get up and disturb the blessed
quiet of the moment, attracting unwanted attention to myself…
In the second occurrence I actually glanced up just as one
half of a Host fell to the ground. There
was no mistaking that one, so I sprang to my feet immediately and stepped
uncomfortably over the kneeling people in my way as I quickly made a beeline
for that Host. Let me tell you, I do not want to draw attention to myself and my mind frantically
searches for ways to get out of the situation.
But just as potent is the real truth of that Real Truth. It is Jesus. It is
Jesus, and I have to step outside the comfy box of safety and anonymity and
help Him. It certainly makes me stop and
analyze my belief that those tiny fragments of what to any logical mind would appear
to be a meaningless, white crumb- is in fact, God. And I kinda feel like this
tapping on my shoulder lately is a test for me, to see if I am willing and able
to acknowledge Him for Who He is.
Do I really believe? And if so, to what extent am I willing to go
to prove it? Tough to ponder and the
same questions could be asked of all of us.
Do we see Him in all the places He is thrown in the mud and trampled
underfoot? Is the Eucharist really the
Source and Summit of our Catholic faith? physically
as well as spiritually. And with
that, do we spend any time at all in making reparation to Him Who alone knows
the depths He willing subjects Himself daily for this unfathomable love?
It always makes me think of that verse from scripture that
sums it up so powerfully: “I do believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).
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