I have read a number of times that it is good for a person who wants to actually have a “prayer life” to create a space somewhere to pray- somewhere quiet and less distracting. Well, those of you in the trenches and raising children right now know that the nirvana of distraction-less quiet does not exist. In fact, wherever you are – the kitchen, the grocery store, the bathroom- is ground zero for crazy chaos, unless you pencil in some me time at three in the morning (only if no child is up sick).
I am in a time of transition and can more readily find those blessed moments of quiet in my home, and have carved out two favorite spaces to conduct business. I call them my Summer Place, and my Winter Place (ain’t that creative).
I have been spending the last few months in our “library” which is actually a converted, small bedroom. I really love the small space; it feels intimate and cozy. I have a nice reading lamp and can look at all the nature photos my daughter Emmaclare took, and framed, and hung on the walls. From my vantage point on the futon I glance into the hall, to the family photo gallery, and can see and think on those nearest and dearest to my heart- the ones who get the main focus in my worry and a mother’s persistent prayer. (As you can see my idea of interior design is to jam every inch of wall space with something, my husband just loves it. Not.)
As soon as the weather breaks even a little, I will move happily onto my front covered porch, to become the weird neighbor who always seems to be sitting out there! I actually take my laptop, and often my portable drawing board for landscape plans- to conduct business, so it’s not like I am a total bum. Just a partial one. In the morning the birds serenade me, and when the sun is at its peak it highlights the pretty flowers, and bees, and butterflies just beyond my spindled railings.
And it’s in these quiet places where I talk to God, and hopefully do some listening. Where I read, and think, and write. I regroup. I put it all into perspective. I sort out the pros and cons. I fret. I smile. I sigh. I breathe it all in and I center again on all there is for me to be thankful for, all the many blessings that this wayward daughter has been given. (I am sounding super “artsy-fartsy” right now, but it is what it is!)
I can see, and smell, and hear all the wonderful things that surround me! And we have paid all the bills this month so I can keep this going for a little while longer! The hits just keep on coming!
Today I am grateful Jesus. Right now, in this space I lift my heart, my life to You in thanksgiving. I acknowledge that anything good I have is not from me, but gifts from a God Who surely does love me. Thanks for that, because You and I both know I will never be able to earn it, or deserve it, but with Your help, I can try to give back the only thing that I have to give. And that’s all of me.