I
have read a number of times that it is good for a person who wants to actually
have a “prayer life” to create a space somewhere to pray- somewhere quiet and
less distracting. Well, those of you in
the trenches and raising children right now know that the nirvana of distraction-less
quiet does not exist. In fact, wherever
you are – the kitchen, the grocery store, the bathroom- is ground zero for
crazy chaos, unless you pencil in some me time at three in the morning (only if
no child is up sick).
I am in a time of
transition and can more readily find those blessed moments of quiet in my home,
and have carved out two favorite spaces to conduct business. I call them my Summer Place, and my Winter
Place (ain’t that creative).
I have been spending the
last few months in our “library” which is actually a converted, small
bedroom. I really love the small space;
it feels intimate and cozy. I have a
nice reading lamp and can look at all the nature photos my daughter Emmaclare
took, and framed, and hung on the walls.
From my vantage point on the futon I glance into the hall, to the family
photo gallery, and can see and think on those nearest and dearest to my heart-
the ones who get the main focus in my worry and a mother’s persistent prayer. (As you can see my idea of interior design is
to jam every inch of wall space with something, my husband just loves it. Not.)
As soon as the weather
breaks even a little, I will move happily onto my front covered porch, to
become the weird neighbor who always seems
to be sitting out there! I actually
take my laptop, and often my portable drawing board for landscape plans- to
conduct business, so it’s not like I am a total bum. Just a partial one. In the morning the birds serenade me, and
when the sun is at its peak it highlights the pretty flowers, and bees, and
butterflies just beyond my spindled railings.
And it’s in these quiet
places where I talk to God, and hopefully do some listening. Where I read, and think, and write. I regroup.
I put it all into perspective. I
sort out the pros and cons. I fret. I smile.
I sigh. I breathe it all in and I
center again on all there is for me to be thankful for, all the many blessings
that this wayward daughter has been given.
(I am sounding super “artsy-fartsy” right now, but it is what it
is!)
I can see, and smell, and
hear all the wonderful things that surround me!
And we have paid all the bills
this month so I can keep this going for a little while longer! The hits just keep on coming!
Today I am grateful Jesus.
Right now, in this space I lift my heart, my life to You in
thanksgiving. I acknowledge that
anything good I have is not from me, but gifts from a God Who surely does love
me. Thanks for that, because You and I
both know I will never be able to earn it, or deserve it, but with Your help, I
can try to give back the only thing that I have to give. And that’s all of me.
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