If there was one sentiment swirling around in my cranium this morning as I was “dragging my knuckles on the pavement” of reluctance to run it was the words of Jesus in His agony in the garden of Gethsemane: “Lord, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” (Matthew 26:39) He saw. He knew what was coming, and it wasn’t going to be fun.
While a crucifixion wasn’t in store today, I did not feel like running my fourteen this overcast, cold and breezy morning. I really, really didn’t.
The good news was Jim did his bike riding thing out there with me, although he spent my first ten miles getting in his workout- riding counter-clockwise from me and meeting up with Gatorade and encouragement every couple of miles. Then he joined me for the last four with his standard silliness to get me motivated: deciding a good tactic today was to tell me to “shake it” as I plodded along. Then “coach” was barking out deep, gutturally loud commands like I was his running back on the football team. Of course, all the stupid little nothings that pop into his head and out of his mouth are pretty hysterical, and I laugh and yell at him as I start swerving a bit along the path.
There’s only just so much energy that this tired ol’ chick can generate, so something’s got to give- and that something is usually physical coordination and the ability to run in a straight line.
My legs, my frame were toast today. It is kind of stressful to be honest- especially my right knee, a lot of pain which I know is back related, and later in the day as we were walking over to church (hitting Saturday evening mass this week) I was limping quite a bit, so much so that Jim had to say (in his best western accent), “Let’s go Sagebrush.” And, “Come on Chuckwagon. Looks like you got yurself bit in the leg by a rattler, got yurself a gimpy leg.”
Of course I can’t stop laughing, and I head off course again…
Today was hard, actually way harder than last week’s eighteen miles and as I was finishing up the last mile I kept thinking about the fact that next Saturday I have to run around the whole six mile loop again! I would not have been able to do that today.
I’m afraid Lord. I’m afraid today that I can’t do it. You’ve got to help me please. You said in Your agony that the cup could pass You if God willed it, but just as quickly You were completely united with God. “Not my will, but Yours be done.” And so, even though I want to manipulate the outcome in a big way here, I will try (with Your help) to let go of this. You know what I need, You understand even more than I what I want to accomplish. Help me do Your will in everything Lord. Heal me, in more than just my body! Save me! Give me strength to trust in You. Holy Mother of God, pray for me!!