I have a bone to pick with whoever has any control of anything, which is no one so there will be little satisfaction to be had for me in this: How is it that I can run twenty sticking miles- that’s almost three and a half hours of excruciating exertion to the point of physical collapse and when I weigh myself this morning I actually gained a pound!! Now, one might think that I have been eating like a gluttonous pig but one would be wrong in that assumption. I have not at all! (I swear I haven’t!!!) Granted Gracie did make us all some chocolate pudding yesterday, loophole Sunday, but that was the extent of it. Not even a pop! Healthy, sensible eating has been my modus operandi for quite some time now and for what?!
It reminds me of when I gave birth to my son Simon, almost a wonking nine pound bundle of boy and do you know when they weighed me afterward I think I had gained a pound there too. What is with my body? Come on! Is there no satisfaction to be had with this thing? Oh (I place the back of my hand to my wearied forehead for affect) the injustice of it all! (Drama queen strikes again.)
Anyways. The next three weeks are my “tapering period” which just has a lovely ring to it. I could not run today, however. Got to listen to my body, and my right knee raised its finger, swirled it around with attitude, all up in my business and said, “Oh no you don’t. I don’t think so. Don’t you make this momma slap you on the face.” So I meekly said, “Oh, okay.” And, chagrinned, I sheepishly set the running shoes down.
Instead I took a nice ride on the stationary bike that although it didn’t take me anywhere did give me a nice, pain-free, no impact workout for forty minutes. I got all excited and did my core stuff as well, which did make me have to ice my knee once again. But we’re all good; the knee’s attitude is heading in a positive direction.
The issue with me today (there is always an issue with me) was actually a serious one, a real slug in the gut as our neighbor and friend, who is also training for the Boston Marathon suffered what they think might have been a stroke yesterday. We stood on our porch and watched them give CPR to him in the driveway, his wife and youngest daughter devastated and powerless, held hands and watched.
How absolutely horrible and it is hitting me to the core. As I peddled the bike I thought on the fragility of life, and how my friend, (who is so healthy and strong!) might not ever train again, while I am just going about my business as usual. Life just seems so callous, so strange. Most likely his dream of Boston must be let go- and it was all because of him that I am even doing this! He was the one who told me I had to, when something like this comes along, it isn’t even a question, you have to do it he said.
He is one of the many great examples I have all around me of people who grab that challenge by the throat and carpe’ deum.
I took my worry, and sorrow, and prayers for him and his wonderful family over to Jesus and sat with my God today, and prayed. And in church I saw another man who lives his life the same way, who actually qualified for Boston for next year, and will try to get in. I don’t believe in coincidences or haphazard meetings with stuff like this. He is a very faith-filled Catholic who came over (with a shirt that said: Perseverance on it appropriately enough) as he was finishing his time before the Blessed Sacrament and told me that he is reading my blog and it is inspiring him. Wow! How humbled that made me, and graced when I haven’t been feeling it, and really needed it. We talked for just a moment in the silent church- that kind of excited, joy-filled discussion of two pilgrims who have both been given the same Pearl of Greatest Value and are in awe of it.
And when he left I sat with God and the beauty of all the emotions: the profound gratitude at the forefront- and sorrow, and joy, and love filled me so much that it seeped out of my eyes. It’s much more so because I have been feeling ashamed today of little thoughts of sin and selfishness, and how undeserving I am of this great gift and His infinite mercy.
My God. I do not have the answers to anything in life except for this one: You. You are the answer. I lift up to You and Your healing and consolation my friend and his family. All things are possible with God. Please extend Your infinite mercy down on a world sore in need. We are all connected and I am feeling it profoundly today. On behalf of and for my brothers I praise You, I love You, and I place all my trust in You.
|Spring is finally coming to my gardens.|