Sunday, February 16, 2014

February 15, 2014- Constant Vigilance!

My u joints are rusted!  And rusted u joints are a pain in the butt. (Ha!)  Gosh I crack myself up sometimes, which is fun because I really love to laugh.  The exuberance and decibel level of any given outburst can be at odds, however, with the delicate sensibilities of teenage children.  At least it was in my case as I often made my two older ones (especially my older daughter) want to crawl in a hole when their mother was too flamboyant.
I just told Gracie last night as we were out to dinner as a matter of fact that it will be best for her to just resign herself to the fact that her mother is loud.  As she moves into those teen years it will be easier on everyone if she just gets on board because I told her that Mom is not going to change (well, hopefully she will on the stuff that really matters).  But I said Dad loves me just the way I am, and by golly I live to make him happy so I am going to keep on choosing loud laughing to being a poop.  That’s the way that ball is a rolling.    
Now, where was I?  Oh yes, u joints.  They were making themselves known all day after my ten mile run this afternoon.  It was a balmy seventeen degrees as I started out and I didn’t go very far before a runner came slowly up to pass me, but he didn’t and we kind of fell into step together which was a very nice turn of events as I am a “sola runnera”.  His name was Dan and we got to talking about running and all kinds of things about his wife running marathons.  I can’t begin to tell you how much better it is to run with someone than alone.  The time goes by so much faster.
In the course of our conversation I mentioned something about a comment the priest made and he asked then if I was Catholic.  I told him I was and he said that he was a one-time Catholic.  I really have found that when people are running they tend to reveal a lot more about their hearts and deep emotion than they would normally do in daily conversations with strangers, or maybe it is just the nature of runners to be more in tune with their thoughts- running distances making a person so much more introspective. 
I don’t know but as he said that I kind of smiled inwardly and thought immediately of the “new evangelization” and how in his talk, Dr. Scott Hahn described circumstances in which we could do our part to evangelize all that is wonderful in the Catholic Church.  This was the perfect opportunity!  But, in this circumstance, I am sorry to say, I dropped the ball.  We got onto another side topic and I never did come back to the important point he made about being a one-time Catholic.
I feel really bad about it and in later conversations with God I told Him that’s what He gets for putting an amateur in when He needed a professional.  Then to patch up my mess I prayed for this guy named Dan, who I probably will never see again.  I can’t get too caught up in thoughts that I might have been THE ONE to plant the right seed in his heart to bring him back to the church because that leads to all kinds of images of my own brilliance and colossal-ness.  Like I am the only one who God has to make the good stuff happen.   Like He can’t do it without me. 
God only knows how the stars got aligned or the cosmos keeps orbiting because I certainly am a big part of everything!  But still, He might have been counting on me to do that one little thing that really isn’t so little.  So I pray, and tell Him I’m sorry.  I tell ya, you have got to be so proactive in life!  As Mad-Eye Moody says, “Constant vigilance!”  You have got to constantly be thinking one step ahead and anticipating all the near-occasions to sin and all the ways God might ask you to do something.  
Bath me, drench me, and inebriate me Jesus in Your Precious Blood!  Always!  That is a blanket order/request.  I give you permission to suffocate me in Your Sacred Heart, because God knows I cannot do one simple little infinitesimal thing that is good without it.  Take a firm hold!  Don’t let go or I will surely fall into the pit.  You know it and sometimes I know it.    
My running stickers.  Badges of honor.  Ain't I something else.

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